slightlyfastboy: The Weird Update

hELLO GAMERS!!!1!!!!11!!!!1

I bring you a new update to the hit best-selling indie game slightlyfastboy!!!!!! For legal and ethical reasons, the "Ransomware Update" is still in development so instead here are someother weird features I added >:3

NEW FEATURES:

Title screen

wow! look at all those options

Weird Options:

you can now toggle many weird options to make your game weirder, including:

Speedrun Timer

have you ever wanted to speedrun slightlyfastboy? well with this new speedrun timer feature, you can :D just make sure to pay close attention and remember your exact time before you get caught because it doesn't get saved anywhere before the game closes

Faster Mode

slightly fast boy might be a little bit fast, but what if he was faster??? with faster mode, slightly fast boy can become slightly faster boy! slightly faster boy is much cooler than slightly fast boy because he has the power of acceleration (wow). "but what is acceleration?" you may ask. well, first imagine being slightly fast... and then imagine yourself being slightly faster. do you understand now? no? that's ok. acceleration is a very advanced topic for fast boys. maybe if you become a faster boy like me someday, you will understand how to accelerate too

Transgender Mode

that right! slightfastboy has officially gone woke (oh no). please do not hit this button. if you do, 3 trillion tons of estrogen will be immediately injected into your bloodstream. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!

And More!

there are exactly 3 other options in the weird menu (what could they be?) you'll have to download the game to find out (is this how you do marketing?)

I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS HOW DO I GET RID OF HIM HELP?????????

weird james will now appear at weird times and make weird things happen. weird!

thank you for reading. don't forget: I have installed malware on your computer and you now have 30 seconds until it collapses into a black hole and consumes you <3